OK it's not really a hotel:). Tatum got herself put in the slammer, the poky, the block, the hospital. Darn it. She had a really rough day at home yesterday so I am happy to be here to see if we can't get her feeling better. She woke up yesterday morning at 4am and didn't go back to sleep until 2 in the afternoon! She was having a lot of seizures so she just couldn't rest. In the meantime I was trying to contact our GI doctor to see about the new tube. I didn't get very far with him. In fact I was super frustrated. It seemed like the entire day we were fighting to keep her oxygen levels up. I finally called my pediatrician and he said to bring her in if I was nervous. I loaded her up and made it to his office in record time. When he listened to her he thought maybe she had pneumonia (probably from aspiration ). He felt like we should bring her over to the hospital and give her some iv antibiotics. I was a little relieved because she was making me nervous at home. I felt bad to leave everything at home the kids the half done laundry and half done laundry carpool young women's activity piano lessons. Kind of had a few things to do. I guess I realize that those things will wait.
We had some visitors last night and then we started to get settled for the night. She did really well through the night. She had a few times through the night where she had a little dip in her oxygen level but that is a little normal for her. She slept until 5:00. She has been really restful this morning. My pediatrician is going to call and talk to our GI doctor to see if he can get anywhere with him since I didn't. Either way we need to get her tube to her intestine because that seemed to work fine for her. I just want her to be as comfortable as possible. I can't take away all of her physical struggles but I can advocate for her in the things that I can help her with. Overall this has been a really positive visit. I feel like we are making progress. And this morning when I went to take a shower they actually found me real shampoo and conditioner not baby shampoo! So now on top of everything I am having a pretty good hair day:). Ill take the little victories.
I am so grateful for personal revelation. I know it is real. I know it comes from our Heavenly Father trying to assist us and lead us back to him. He wants us to be happy even through times of trial. "men are that they might have joy". I am joyful. I am a wife and a mother which is what I have always wanted to be. There will always bumps in the road. Without them we would not appreciate the smooth times. Thanks for caring about us enough to read about our adventures with sweet Tatum.
FYI I started this post about 4 hours ago. This is a busy place. I always think I am going to get stuff done. Yeah right! And I can't get spell check to work on my iPad so don't judge me:)
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Monday, May 6, 2013
Bi Polar
Tatum Update: OK, Tatum may have a little bit of bi polar tendencies. Either that or I do. Or she is trying to drive me crazy. Or she is just doing an AB pattern! One of these. She actually had a fairly decent day today. I really only suctioned her a couple of quick times, mostly for surface bubbles. She was fairly restful and pretty smiley. In fact tonight Heidi and Halea and I were sitting with her and we were laughing and joking (bit shocker, I'll bet you can't imagine it) and we think she gave a little chuckle. She for sure was trying to do some raspberries with her tongue today, not successfully, but I knew what she was getting at.
When I was driving to get kids today I had some quiet time in the car and I had a mommy revelation. I have been considering and pondering that maybe her feedings are the root of the gurgle. As I was driving I was trying to remember when the secretions worsened. Then I had the aha moment. It was shortly after her g-tube was placed. So I looked up the dates and it was about a week and a half after her surgery that we got the suction machine. Coincidence, I think not! I put in a call to our GI doctor to bounce some ideas off of him. I think she is refluxing and so I think that we can help her with that. When they place her new tube they can put it into the beginning of her intestine instead of her stomach so that it can't be urped back up through her esophagus. Genius. I think in my mommy heart I didn't want to consider this option because I LOVE food and I wanted her to be able to have food in her tummy. If it can fix this problem, however, I am all for it. I hope this is it.
I had a horrendous call to the hospital tonight, to go and make some memories for a sweet family that just lost their mom, very tragically and very young. It takes just a moment to put life in perspective. Don't waste time on the small stuff right? From what I have heard and read about her she lived life to the fullest, loved her family and was a great person. I am grateful that I have the incredible opportunity to be a very small part of this families journey, all of the families I meet. It is truly an honor and it has kept me grounded during my own trials in life. My heart aches for her family, it is truly a parents worse nightmare to leave little children behind. The Lord will provide, I know this is true.
(When I just did spell check, I had spelled genius wrong! Thought you needed to know that)
When I was driving to get kids today I had some quiet time in the car and I had a mommy revelation. I have been considering and pondering that maybe her feedings are the root of the gurgle. As I was driving I was trying to remember when the secretions worsened. Then I had the aha moment. It was shortly after her g-tube was placed. So I looked up the dates and it was about a week and a half after her surgery that we got the suction machine. Coincidence, I think not! I put in a call to our GI doctor to bounce some ideas off of him. I think she is refluxing and so I think that we can help her with that. When they place her new tube they can put it into the beginning of her intestine instead of her stomach so that it can't be urped back up through her esophagus. Genius. I think in my mommy heart I didn't want to consider this option because I LOVE food and I wanted her to be able to have food in her tummy. If it can fix this problem, however, I am all for it. I hope this is it.
I had a horrendous call to the hospital tonight, to go and make some memories for a sweet family that just lost their mom, very tragically and very young. It takes just a moment to put life in perspective. Don't waste time on the small stuff right? From what I have heard and read about her she lived life to the fullest, loved her family and was a great person. I am grateful that I have the incredible opportunity to be a very small part of this families journey, all of the families I meet. It is truly an honor and it has kept me grounded during my own trials in life. My heart aches for her family, it is truly a parents worse nightmare to leave little children behind. The Lord will provide, I know this is true.
(When I just did spell check, I had spelled genius wrong! Thought you needed to know that)
The Battle Forges on...
Tatum Update: Well, I am trying to remain hopeful, (it is Tatum's middle name) but on Saturday night Tatum woke up at 2:30 am and was super gurgly and having trouble keeping her oxygen levels up! Grrrr. I was so sad and frustrated. I was so encouraged by the day before that I was just sure that maybe we had found a solution. Now, maybe not. I couldn't bring myself to write yesterday because I was severely sleep deprived because she stayed up from 2:30 am until about 10:30 am after we had already gone to church. I sat out in the hall with her and got her to finally rest. She was pretty gurgly almost the entire time. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself, but I was really glad that we went to Stake Conference. It was great, as usual, lots about the family and building a stronger home and missionary work. We went to the adult session on Saturday because we love that one because we can actually listen because there are no children!! Sorry kids, but you are often a distraction. The Sunday session is sometimes a little harder, but this one was great. I just figured out why as I was typing. Because I sat out in the hall with Tatum! Baha. It just came together for me. Well, I needed it so I won't feel guilty for putting Lance in charge of the others:) While I was sitting out there one of Halea's friends little sister walked by us. She did a double take and then she came back and approached us. (She hasn't ever really met us, but I knew who she was) She asked me if I was Halea Walker's mom. I smiled and said Yes. Then she said is this Tatum? I said yes. Then she asked how she was doing. What a cutie. She is only about 12 years old! She has had her own challenges in life with her health and so I could see in her eyes that she got it. Tatum is like a little ambassador. I love that people are following her story so that more people can benefit from her life.
Things were well until a lady came out and sat on a chair kind of close to where I was sitting with Tates. She started with some small talk and then started asking how old Tatum was, and if she had a feeding tube. I really wasn't in the mood to share because I just felt emotionally and physically drained. She proceeded to tell me the story of her daughter who is now 9 that needed a feeding tube when she was little because she wasn't growing, etc. I wanted to tell her that my daughter would never see 9 years, but I held back and kept the conversation light and on the surface because I knew that she was well intended in sharing her story. I am sure she was just trying to make me feel better. I wish that I had taken the opportunity to share more of Tatum with her, but I just couldn't at that time. I will do better next time.
I love miracle stories because I know that they happen and I fully understand that our story is a miracle in a different way. I only wish that we could keep Tatum a little longer than I think that we will. I wish that we had years with her, but I just don't think that will happen. I feel her little body just wearing out. She is getting so tired so fast. I wish that I could give her some of my energy. Such an irony that she has a mother that is hard to turn off. Why can't I just share some of my energy! Life.
Tatum has several new outfits, again! Thought I would share some of those.
I love her profile with the little bit of sun coming through the window. She looked so pretty in her cute bright dress. She wore this on Sunday, it was super comfortable for her.
Full length picture of her hanging out in her "bedroom" which used to be our living room:) So glad that she is there so that she can be a part of our chaos at all times! Hopefully she enjoys it as much as we do.
New pedicure for the perfect toes!
Can you tell this is my favorite angle? I love her profile.
This is her today. She looks so pretty in this little dress. My friend brought her and Hilary matching ones, just different colors. They look adorable! If I can catch Hilary today i will post hers too.
Minus Oxygen. Our beautiful girl. I love first thing in the morning after her bath and she looks all fresh.
So, we are trying to be hopeful about the Botox, but this might just be how Tatum is. This just might be her forever issue, secretions! I told Trevin that he couldn't die from a bowel obstruction, and he did. Now Tatum will not breathe like I want her to. How come none of my kids will ever listen to me!? Right down to the angel babies. I understand the teenagers giving me grief, they have no brain! I was just hopeful that I would have a little more pull with these little ones. (I hope you can sense the sarcasm) I am just going to try to go with the flow, and sleep when I can, and deal with secretions if that is what we need to do. The goal is to just keep Tater bug comfortable.
Things were well until a lady came out and sat on a chair kind of close to where I was sitting with Tates. She started with some small talk and then started asking how old Tatum was, and if she had a feeding tube. I really wasn't in the mood to share because I just felt emotionally and physically drained. She proceeded to tell me the story of her daughter who is now 9 that needed a feeding tube when she was little because she wasn't growing, etc. I wanted to tell her that my daughter would never see 9 years, but I held back and kept the conversation light and on the surface because I knew that she was well intended in sharing her story. I am sure she was just trying to make me feel better. I wish that I had taken the opportunity to share more of Tatum with her, but I just couldn't at that time. I will do better next time.
I love miracle stories because I know that they happen and I fully understand that our story is a miracle in a different way. I only wish that we could keep Tatum a little longer than I think that we will. I wish that we had years with her, but I just don't think that will happen. I feel her little body just wearing out. She is getting so tired so fast. I wish that I could give her some of my energy. Such an irony that she has a mother that is hard to turn off. Why can't I just share some of my energy! Life.
Tatum has several new outfits, again! Thought I would share some of those.
So, we are trying to be hopeful about the Botox, but this might just be how Tatum is. This just might be her forever issue, secretions! I told Trevin that he couldn't die from a bowel obstruction, and he did. Now Tatum will not breathe like I want her to. How come none of my kids will ever listen to me!? Right down to the angel babies. I understand the teenagers giving me grief, they have no brain! I was just hopeful that I would have a little more pull with these little ones. (I hope you can sense the sarcasm) I am just going to try to go with the flow, and sleep when I can, and deal with secretions if that is what we need to do. The goal is to just keep Tater bug comfortable.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
I LOVE BOTOX
Tatum Update: This is going to be short because I have reached a point of exhaustion. I didn't sleep well last night because Tatum was doing so well (I know that doesn't sound right) but I kept waking up and checking her because i was sure things would go wrong in the night. But they didn't! She did so well, and has had a great day. She was sleepy through the afternoon, but when she was awake she was smiley and happy and hardly a gurgle! It was a crazy busy productive day, ending with adult session of Stake conference. What a great day. Soooo grateful for modern science that has little things to assist our sweet daughter to be able to feel better during her journey here on earth. What a relief to a mom and dad.
Here is little Tates post botox injections. She looks amazing and she is smiley. She is starting to get a little bit of a mullet, kind of like Ben Franklin. I am not sure how to work that kind of hair do? Hmmm.
We had a few visitors today, a couple donating some things for the hospital for people who lose babies and a friend who was supposed to lose her baby at birth or shortly after and who is now 3 years old! She brought by some extra suctioning items that she doesn't use. We moms stick together, sharing the home health goods. It's a funny little underground world we are a part of:)
I will write more tomorrow. I am so tired I can't even think of what to say, much less be funny. Hopefully we can all sleep tonight.
We had a few visitors today, a couple donating some things for the hospital for people who lose babies and a friend who was supposed to lose her baby at birth or shortly after and who is now 3 years old! She brought by some extra suctioning items that she doesn't use. We moms stick together, sharing the home health goods. It's a funny little underground world we are a part of:)
I will write more tomorrow. I am so tired I can't even think of what to say, much less be funny. Hopefully we can all sleep tonight.
Friday, May 3, 2013
BOTOX!
I know what you are thinking. Not me! Tatum got botox. And she looks fabulous and wrinkle free. Those crows feet were really bugging her:) Who knew what botox could do? Apparently it can numb your salivary glands.
It seems like we have waited forever for this day! We decided to keep Heidi home from school to stay with Hilary because waking up a three year old before she is ready is not advisable. We had to leave at 7:30 to be there by 8:30 and some days Hilary will sleep until 9:30 or 10:00. Heidi was very happy to stay home. I know mother of the year here I come! When we woke up this morning Tatum was sudsing and snotting so the suctioning began as soon as we got going this morning. We quickly got ready and loaded and we were on our way. I was really nervous that we were going to get up there and they would say that she didn't qualify or they would not be able to help us. We got to the hospital right on time and found the office we were to go to. We checked in and they brought us back to the rehab room. The nurse started checking us in and going through Tatum's history when the doctor came in. She was super nice and direct and talked us through our options. I was sure that we would just be evaluated today, but she just took our word for it that Tatum had horrible secretions. She actually just trusted us as her parents. We have had the most amazing specialists. They have all been very respectful of listening to the parents perspective. My pediatrician always has been that way, but outside of him and his staff, sometimes doctors don't listen to you. I expressed to the doctor my concerns about the medication and asked more questions about the injections. She answered and agreed with concerns and then she said, "I think she will tolerate the botox injections fine. I don't think she needs to be sedated and we can get the insurance approval and do them right now if you want". What? No red tape, no waiting, no testing, no questioning. It was amazing. Lance and I agreed that it would be the lowest risk option and we really needed to do something immediately. The doctor went to get the medication sent up and the forms ready.
As we were sitting there waiting we started looking around the room at all of the Disney movie characters on the wall. They were colored cut out laminated little figures of characters from all of the kids movies. Only there were a few that were out of place. They had put the frog from "Frog and the Princess" by itself and the princess was with the ants where it didn't belong. Then he noticed that "Rex" from "Toy Story" was by himself. You know what this means. Lance had to fix it!
Here is the princess with the ants....
Here are Tates beautiful eyelashes:)
Here is Rex being reunited with Jessie! Thank goodness. After Lance finished his covert mission the doctor came back in with the botox. We put Tater bug on the bed, they cleaned where they would do the injections and they did four little pokes and it was over. Tatum barely cries when they draw her blood, so I knew that she would do fine, but she did amazing! After the procedure the doctor also noticed our sad little gel pillow that we had to place behind Tatum's head in her car seat. She asked where we had gotten it and we said that when she had her g-tube placed we got them from our stay here at the hospital. She said she could get us more if we wanted. Heck yes! They got us two boxes full of them. What a successful visit to Primary children's. They were so efficient and helpful, it was unbelievable.
We got home and settled Tatum into her bed. She took a great nap and did really well breathing and seizure wise. She woke up at about 6:00pm. She was awake for a few hours and she was smiley and alert and I only suctioned her a tiny bit on the surface. They say it will take a few days to see if it has helped, but she had a phenomenal afternoon and evening. I am very hopeful.
So many tender mercies today. The day went so much better than I could have imagined or worked out on my own. I am thankful and ever mindful that we are not doing this alone, we certainly have Heavenly assistance. I can only imagine what our family members who are on the other side are orchestrating for us. I feel that love. Grateful for good friends who bring meals right at the right time, who call at the right time, who just are thinking of us. Grateful for doctors who understand that time is not a gift we have right now and see the urgency to take care of certain issues. Grateful for kids who all helped each other today. Grateful for pictures. We got our big family picture back today. It is hanging in our hallway and it is beautiful. So happy to have a picture of our family, capturing this time together. Grateful I was able to relate our story to a friend who didn't know what was going on with Tatum without crying, since we were in Costco. Grateful for a good husband who is so helpful and attentive and is a good father. Grateful he has good people that he works with that allow him to miss work occasionally for appointments with Tates. Always grateful for Tatum and her smiles. There were many tonight and they are priceless.
It seems like we have waited forever for this day! We decided to keep Heidi home from school to stay with Hilary because waking up a three year old before she is ready is not advisable. We had to leave at 7:30 to be there by 8:30 and some days Hilary will sleep until 9:30 or 10:00. Heidi was very happy to stay home. I know mother of the year here I come! When we woke up this morning Tatum was sudsing and snotting so the suctioning began as soon as we got going this morning. We quickly got ready and loaded and we were on our way. I was really nervous that we were going to get up there and they would say that she didn't qualify or they would not be able to help us. We got to the hospital right on time and found the office we were to go to. We checked in and they brought us back to the rehab room. The nurse started checking us in and going through Tatum's history when the doctor came in. She was super nice and direct and talked us through our options. I was sure that we would just be evaluated today, but she just took our word for it that Tatum had horrible secretions. She actually just trusted us as her parents. We have had the most amazing specialists. They have all been very respectful of listening to the parents perspective. My pediatrician always has been that way, but outside of him and his staff, sometimes doctors don't listen to you. I expressed to the doctor my concerns about the medication and asked more questions about the injections. She answered and agreed with concerns and then she said, "I think she will tolerate the botox injections fine. I don't think she needs to be sedated and we can get the insurance approval and do them right now if you want". What? No red tape, no waiting, no testing, no questioning. It was amazing. Lance and I agreed that it would be the lowest risk option and we really needed to do something immediately. The doctor went to get the medication sent up and the forms ready.
As we were sitting there waiting we started looking around the room at all of the Disney movie characters on the wall. They were colored cut out laminated little figures of characters from all of the kids movies. Only there were a few that were out of place. They had put the frog from "Frog and the Princess" by itself and the princess was with the ants where it didn't belong. Then he noticed that "Rex" from "Toy Story" was by himself. You know what this means. Lance had to fix it!
Here we are waiting for the shots...Disney characters in the background.
We got home and settled Tatum into her bed. She took a great nap and did really well breathing and seizure wise. She woke up at about 6:00pm. She was awake for a few hours and she was smiley and alert and I only suctioned her a tiny bit on the surface. They say it will take a few days to see if it has helped, but she had a phenomenal afternoon and evening. I am very hopeful.
So many tender mercies today. The day went so much better than I could have imagined or worked out on my own. I am thankful and ever mindful that we are not doing this alone, we certainly have Heavenly assistance. I can only imagine what our family members who are on the other side are orchestrating for us. I feel that love. Grateful for good friends who bring meals right at the right time, who call at the right time, who just are thinking of us. Grateful for doctors who understand that time is not a gift we have right now and see the urgency to take care of certain issues. Grateful for kids who all helped each other today. Grateful for pictures. We got our big family picture back today. It is hanging in our hallway and it is beautiful. So happy to have a picture of our family, capturing this time together. Grateful I was able to relate our story to a friend who didn't know what was going on with Tatum without crying, since we were in Costco. Grateful for a good husband who is so helpful and attentive and is a good father. Grateful he has good people that he works with that allow him to miss work occasionally for appointments with Tates. Always grateful for Tatum and her smiles. There were many tonight and they are priceless.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Confessions of a Mother
I knew that title would get some interest, right? We will get to that in a minute. Tatum had a pretty good day today. She was pretty smiley and only had a few episodes of gurgly. She was awake a lot more today. I like it a lot when she is awake a little more during the day so I can hold her and talk to her and look into her eyes. I feel like I can't kiss her enough or tell her I love her enough, so I tell her a million times a day. I don't get nearly as much done during the day if she is awake, but who the heck cares about that! Tomorrow is our visit to Primary Children's, finally! This has seemed like the longest week ever. I am just anxious to hear what they have to say.
To the confessions:
Right now, my husband is working on my decorations to go on the teachers door that I am the room mom for. It is Teacher Appreciation Week, so they have us decorate their door with something cute. If you know me you know that I am horrible at this kind of thing. I had an idea, but I just couldn't think of how to execute it, so I became paralyzed as it got closer (I need it for tomorrow). When Lance got home tonight I started telling him what I needed to do, he went to the computer and got to work without me even begging! He got it printed, the kids colored and then Lance cut it out. What a load off my mind. I have been the worst room mom ever this year, so hopefully this will make up for a little of that:)
Confession #2: We still occasionally give Hilary a bath in our kitchen sink. Tonight was one of those nights. I just didn't want to haul up the stairs today. Lazy. Our friend suggested that we teach her to do the dishes while she is in there. Funny!
#3: I have total olfactory sensitivity and I can be a little bit of a Germ a Phoebe. I spray a lot of air fresheners and I use a lot of Clorox wipes. Last night, I was pretty grumpy because it had not been the greatest day and I felt like I was just running all day. So when I came home from my final activity of the day and I saw my kids wrapped up in the blankets that I sleep with, BEFORE they were showered, I was a little bugged. Then I felt like our living room smelled like dirty feet! (here comes the sensitivity) I wasn't very nice about all of this. Not super proud of it. Sometimes I lose sight a little bit.
On the flip side of the confession #3 is confession #4: I love the smell of Tatum's sweaty little hands! What kind of weird twist is that? Poor little thing is always sweaty and her hands are no exception. She kind of has them clenched and then she is hot, so everyone else thinks they smell funny. I love them. I think it's a mommy thing? I can't get enough of anything her, sweaty hands and all!
Chillin in her bed today....
Comfy cosy. She did really well today.
That is the end of the confessional today:)
To the confessions:
Right now, my husband is working on my decorations to go on the teachers door that I am the room mom for. It is Teacher Appreciation Week, so they have us decorate their door with something cute. If you know me you know that I am horrible at this kind of thing. I had an idea, but I just couldn't think of how to execute it, so I became paralyzed as it got closer (I need it for tomorrow). When Lance got home tonight I started telling him what I needed to do, he went to the computer and got to work without me even begging! He got it printed, the kids colored and then Lance cut it out. What a load off my mind. I have been the worst room mom ever this year, so hopefully this will make up for a little of that:)
Confession #2: We still occasionally give Hilary a bath in our kitchen sink. Tonight was one of those nights. I just didn't want to haul up the stairs today. Lazy. Our friend suggested that we teach her to do the dishes while she is in there. Funny!
#3: I have total olfactory sensitivity and I can be a little bit of a Germ a Phoebe. I spray a lot of air fresheners and I use a lot of Clorox wipes. Last night, I was pretty grumpy because it had not been the greatest day and I felt like I was just running all day. So when I came home from my final activity of the day and I saw my kids wrapped up in the blankets that I sleep with, BEFORE they were showered, I was a little bugged. Then I felt like our living room smelled like dirty feet! (here comes the sensitivity) I wasn't very nice about all of this. Not super proud of it. Sometimes I lose sight a little bit.
On the flip side of the confession #3 is confession #4: I love the smell of Tatum's sweaty little hands! What kind of weird twist is that? Poor little thing is always sweaty and her hands are no exception. She kind of has them clenched and then she is hot, so everyone else thinks they smell funny. I love them. I think it's a mommy thing? I can't get enough of anything her, sweaty hands and all!
Comfy cosy. She did really well today.
That is the end of the confessional today:)
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Terrific Tatum Teeth!
Tatum Update: We actually discovered yesterday that her other two teeth poked through! Final count for the day 8. Eight teeth doesn't seem like a lot, but that is plenty to prevent us from getting the suction tube past! She looks you straight in the eye and just clamps down when she hears the suction machine flip on! Her one act of defiance. I smile at her and then I have to pry her little jaw open. She is very patient. I am sure she knows we are trying to help her, she just also knows that we are not professionals so we are not always super good at working the suction machine. She is having to learn patience with us.
This morning I was getting Tatum ready while the kids were getting ready for school because she didn't wake up until 6am! What a rock star. I pulled out her outfit for the day and Holden was there. When he saw what I was putting on her he smiled and said something about it being cute. What a cute brother to even notice. It was a cute little purple pants outfit that one of our neighbors dropped off. It was adorable on her and I totally forgot to take a picture! Sometimes I think we are still living in the film era, where you had to be choosy on what pictures you took. So I am not as attached to my camera as the younger generation. Next time she wears it I will get a picture. Hopefully she won't have too many more opportunities to wear it because it was pants. Pants today because it SNOWED! That's right, snow on May 1st. Lovely way to start May.
Tatum slept a lot today. She seems to have a few days of sleepiness and then a day of more awake, and then back to sleepy. I feel like she is just wearing out. I was grateful that she was a little sleepy today because I needed to go and do some hand molds at a mortuary for a family that lost their 14 month old son a few days ago. Halea stayed with Tates while I went. While I was there with the family they told me a little bit of their journey with their little guy. He had several health issues when he was born and so he lived his entire life in the hospital until the last 8 weeks, when they got to take him home. They are from here but they moved out of state to get better care for their son. This made me so grateful that we have been able to avoid the hospital thus far. The whole time I was there with them I just kept thinking this is going to be us soon. I hate to even think about it, but it's true.
My heart has been pretty heavy since this afternoon. Most days I do fine with everything and my knowledge and understanding and faith can fight off the sadness. Today the sadness crept in and overcame me for awhile. I think that it is good to just have a good cry once in awhile to relieve all of the stress. Well I should have no more stress left in me, because I went to the really ugly cry. I was driving late tonight and it seemed like every song that came on the radio made me cry, even if it didn't apply to my current situation:) It was good it was night time so no one could see me.
Tomorrow is a new day, and then it will be Friday! Friday we go to Primary Childrens and hopefully get some suggestions for these hideous secretions.
I am reposting this picture because I love it! I mean who doesn't want to kiss those smoochy lips. And what lady doesn't envy those beautiful lashes. Lucky little girl.
This morning I was getting Tatum ready while the kids were getting ready for school because she didn't wake up until 6am! What a rock star. I pulled out her outfit for the day and Holden was there. When he saw what I was putting on her he smiled and said something about it being cute. What a cute brother to even notice. It was a cute little purple pants outfit that one of our neighbors dropped off. It was adorable on her and I totally forgot to take a picture! Sometimes I think we are still living in the film era, where you had to be choosy on what pictures you took. So I am not as attached to my camera as the younger generation. Next time she wears it I will get a picture. Hopefully she won't have too many more opportunities to wear it because it was pants. Pants today because it SNOWED! That's right, snow on May 1st. Lovely way to start May.
Tatum slept a lot today. She seems to have a few days of sleepiness and then a day of more awake, and then back to sleepy. I feel like she is just wearing out. I was grateful that she was a little sleepy today because I needed to go and do some hand molds at a mortuary for a family that lost their 14 month old son a few days ago. Halea stayed with Tates while I went. While I was there with the family they told me a little bit of their journey with their little guy. He had several health issues when he was born and so he lived his entire life in the hospital until the last 8 weeks, when they got to take him home. They are from here but they moved out of state to get better care for their son. This made me so grateful that we have been able to avoid the hospital thus far. The whole time I was there with them I just kept thinking this is going to be us soon. I hate to even think about it, but it's true.
My heart has been pretty heavy since this afternoon. Most days I do fine with everything and my knowledge and understanding and faith can fight off the sadness. Today the sadness crept in and overcame me for awhile. I think that it is good to just have a good cry once in awhile to relieve all of the stress. Well I should have no more stress left in me, because I went to the really ugly cry. I was driving late tonight and it seemed like every song that came on the radio made me cry, even if it didn't apply to my current situation:) It was good it was night time so no one could see me.
Tomorrow is a new day, and then it will be Friday! Friday we go to Primary Childrens and hopefully get some suggestions for these hideous secretions.
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