Grandma and Grandpa came to visit and we had general conference.
After several months of tangly unmanageable hair Hilary agreed to let me trim her hair. Yes, I did wait until she agreed. We have learned it is just easier that way. She might be THAT youngest child (still alive) people talk about. You know the one that gets everything her way because mom and dad are tired? Yep. We cut about 5 or 6 inches off and now we can actually comb through her hair! It was a win win situation. She still asks about Tatum. The other day she asked me if Tatum misses us? I told her yes, because she better, right? We miss her SO much it would be awful to find out that she didn't really miss us. That would be just mean.
We hadn't been back to the zoo since the last time we went with Tatum. It was a little hard for me. I had invited some family to come if they wanted to, but no one could come. It was probably best that no one could join us. That day was a really great day with Tatum and Hilary together and so it was a little emotional to go back. It was a beautiful fall day, well until the bee sting of course.
School has been a little crazy. There are a lot of days that I feel like I might not make it, and then I do. I wish that I didn't require sleep or food. I just don't feel like I have time for either. Don't worry, I always seem to make time for the food, just not the sleep. I probably need to switch those. Sometimes it is exhausting because i feel like I am constantly defending my beliefs to these very liberal professors and students. I do it in a kind way, but I can't back down. I feel like I need to defend the things that I know are right, to hopefully help preserve some morals to be left in our society for my kids. It is frightening how quickly our morals have decayed in the past 15 years. It has certainly helped me to be more in touch with my beliefs and my testimony of truth. I am learning how to defend those things in a Christ like way. I am also learning a little bit of how it must feel to be a minority.
As I was driving home that night the thought came very vividly to my mind that we needed to offer Trevins burial plot in the Provo cemetery to this family. I hadn't really thought about his plot for awhile. I thought that it would be more time before we would think about gifting it to someone. I wasn't sure how Lance was going to react to this inspiration either. He is often times way more sentimental about things, and so I wasn't sure how to approach him. When I got home it was late, so I just slept on it. Later that next day I went to the hospital to deliver some things to them. I called Lance beforehand to see if he would be OK if I offered it to them. His reaction was not at all what I expected. He started off saying that he thought that we would gift it to someone, but maybe not this soon. Then he said, "but if you think that you have found someone who needs it then that is fine". His reaction is a small miracle, not because he is not a giving person, but because I know that he is attached to that area, like I am.
As I walked to the patients room I decided that I would just see how it went and try to be led by the spirit. We talked for awhile and then I asked her how the arrangements for Heather's services were coming. She said that they had called the cemetery and that a plot in the new baby area was going to be 700.00. She paused and said "we don't have money for that". When she got off the phone with them and related the information to her parents, they immediately offered to pay for anything and to not worry about the costs. This mom then told me that her parents didn't have a lot of extra money either, but she was grateful that they had offered. Then I told this mom that I had an offer to make her, but that she was not obligated to take it. I wasn't sure how someone would feel about putting their baby in a plot that another baby had been in. Is that weird? I am a little desensitized to situations that might seem strange to the average person who doesn't deal with death and dying issues every day:) She was overwhelmed and grateful.
Later that night our patients mom called and expressed her gratitude. This is the part that I don't love about giving, not anonymously. It was a good feeling to know how grateful they were. It just felt right. The next morning the patients mom called me again to let me know that they had seen the plot and they couldn't believe how beautiful the spot was. I was so happy that they liked it, because we have always loved it, because it is under the trees. I told her about our family tradition of picking up the pine cones and making designs on Trevins head stone every time we would visit. While this grandma was out looking at the plot she said that there was a lady out there visiting her son, Trevins next door neighbor. They started talking and this grandma shared with this next door neighbor that Trevin had been moved and was now in Lehi, and that their daughter was going to bury her daughter there. The lady said that she had been wondering where he went! In all of our years we had never met this family! Then the grandma told her what I had said about the pine cones, and she said "oh yes every time we would come out he would have pine cones all around his head stone". It was just a little tender mercy for that grandma, and me. I never realized how attached I was to this tiny little plot of land.
Yesterday, October 23rd, I was able to attend little Heather funeral. It was another gorgeous fall day. The parents were sitting under the enormous trees that surround this little area of grass. It was like the trees were a protective canopy putting their arms around this fragile couple. I am so grateful that we were blessed to be able to find a couple that truly needed something that we could give to them. The Sunday before the service I was in Provo for my good friend Mary Ann's daughters homecoming from her mission. I took a few minutes to run over to the cemetery to take a picture of our little plot before it wasn't ours anymore. We have a lot of sweet memories there. It will forever be a special place for us as a family.
At this service the father of our patient said something that I loved. He said "God doesn't send armies to change the world, he sends little babies". The Savior came as an infant, just like all of us. All of us do not go on to do the things that He did, obviously. But look at what these little babies do to all of our hearts and minds in the very short time that we get to spend with them. Not to mention the ripple effect that they leave in their wake, affecting many more.
I am so grateful and lucky to get to witness and be affected by the small miracles that I see every day.