Sunday, April 5, 2015

#BecauseHeLives....

This is the # that's been circulating on social media these past few weeks before Easter, so I have been thinking a lot about what it means to me that our Savior Lives.  It pretty much encompasses everything that I am.  My entire belief system, how I live my life, what I hope for, how I interact with people, the way I conduct myself it all centers around the belief that I know that He died for me and on the third day He rose and overcame death and now He lives so that we might all live again too.  What more beautiful truth could there be?  It means that we will see our loved ones who have gone before us.  It means that we will continue after this life here on earth.  In the Alex Boye song that I love called "I Will Rise" there is a line that says "and my faith will be my eyes".  I love that line because I fell like when we cross the veil from this world to the next that the faith that we have in our hearts will be united and will be evident to our eyes.  What a glorious day that will be.  I love this special time of year to reflect on these beliefs that I hold so dear.
Trevin's first big seizure happened on Easter morning, also during conference like this year.  Almost on the same day.  Trevin's event happened on April 3.  I guess I could have bad feelings about Easter, but I have always felt like it was so fitting that such a hard thing should happen during Easter.  My sister in law Becky brought us a card that had a sticker on it that said "Easter is a time for Miracles".  It gave us hope and strength to carry whatever burden we needed to.  We tried to face our fears using the Savior as our perfect example of obedience, love and faith.  Easter still is a time for miracles, we just need to recognize the miracles because they aren't always what we are looking for.

#BecauseHeLives I know that this picture will happen again, plus Trevin.  One day our family will be reunited.  No more missing, no more tears, no more feeling like two are missing, no more sadness.  Just pure joy.

I can't believe that it has been 4 months since I wrote last.  i have composed several posts in my mind, but between school and life it just hasn't made it to the actual blog!  This has been a really rough semester.  I have been in a class that has brought me to the brink of my emotions.  I also have six classes.  Way too many for a mom with a job and a church calling and 5 kids to take care of.  I mean these kids just keep wanting to eat and have clean clothes!!  Unbelievable.  The good news is that it is almost over.
This second year since Tatum died has been a lot harder than the first year.  Not sure why that has been, but the emotions have been so high these past few months.  I have been missing her so much.  It could be a combination of severe fatigue coupled with grief.  that is always a volatile cocktail.  It seems like Hilary has been talking about her a lot, which I welcome.  The other day we were driving in the car and she just randomly said "I never got to see Jesus".  I told her that I didn't either.  Then she said "no when he came to get Tatum!"  This peaked my interest.  I was wondering if she was going to tell me who came to pick Tatum up.  I said "who came to get Tatum if it wasn't Jesus?"  Then she said, "I only got to see the man in the black coat!"  Then I realized that she was talking about Tatum's body, and she was remembering the mortician.  I was sad for a second and then I realized that those were her own memories from 2 years ago!  She really remembers Tatum and a lot of what happened.  This made my heart sing.  That has been a wish of mine, for her to have her own memories of Tatum.  Maybe seeing the mortician take her away was not the memory I was hoping for, but I know there are others if she remembers that.  See, Easter miracles!!

These past four months have been filled with exciting things.  Halea got her mission call to Iquitos, Peru.  She leaves on June 30, straight to the Peruvian MTC.  We are so excited for her.   For her spring break she was able to go to Washington DC for a few days with some kids from her school.  She is living the College dream!
 These were the Christmas Tatum pillows that my niece and my friend helped me to sew out of Tatum's clothes.  It makes me smile to see one on each of the kids beds.  So grateful that people have talent that they are willing to share!


 

1 comment:

  1. I have missed your posts! Thanks for your uplifting testimony and thoughts. You have taught me so much about living valiantly and choosing joy amidst burdens! Love Jenny Bullock

    ReplyDelete