Several weeks ago I was shopping with a friend and I found a really cute box that I thought would work perfect. It has sat in my room waiting for me to find the mental energy to attack. Well, yesterday was the day. I don't even know exactly how I decided, but I just started. The first several piles weren't too difficult because they were mostly things from the other kids or things that I needed to throw away, which is always a high for me. I LOVE decluttering.
Then I started delving into the hard stuff. It was exactly as hard as I thought it was going to be. I was a little surprised at the different emotions that surfaced. I was obviously sad, and my heart ached to hold and kiss my sweet Tater bug. I missed the feeling I had just being around her. I missed my former life with her. But as I read almost every card, the foremost emotion that I was feeling was one of deep deep gratitude and overwhelming humility. All of the cards, and kind little things that people did for us brought back the remembrance of how blessed we were by all that surrounded us. I had never experienced such love and devotion from friends and family. I was overcome as I remembered. I could not believe how many people followed the promptings of the spirit.
I was about half way through the process when there was a knock at my door. I didn't really want to answer, because I was pretty emotional, but I did. There at my door stood one of my good friends with a delicious caramel chocolate cupcake in hand! What in the world. These little gifts have not stopped. They obviously are not as frequent, but ALWAYS right when they are needed most. I know that my Heavenly Father has not forgotten us in our grief. In fact I see His gracious hand every day, blessing me through others. The goodness is simply overwhelming.
In our Relief Society class on Wednesday night we talked about how the Savior knows each one of us. He knows and understands both the universe, and the one. When He was going to heal Jairus's daughter in Matthew 9, Jesus is stopped by the "unclean" woman who touched his garment in faith, knowing that if she could just touch the hem of His garment she could be healed. He stopped, delaying His departure to heal Jairus's daughter, to not only heal but to listen to this desperate yet faithful woman. This woman had waited and prayed for 12 years to be cured. In that time she had lost everything and was both physically and spiritually injured. He stopped because He cares, and because He knows and remembers each one of us. I will never understand how He can do the things that He does, much like I don't understand how an airplane flies in the air. That will never make sense to me. But I know that airplanes can fly, I have seen it. Just like I have seen the power of the spirit guide and direct people to do things that they would not normally do, just to help me know that everything is going to be OK. Instruments in the hands of the Lord. He loves me. He loves us.
Not to mention, by accident I remembered that it was March, which means SHAMROCK SHAKES at McDonald's. I almost forgot!! Coincidence, I think NOT.