The summer started off crazy and has not slowed down. I always have this illusion that I am going to get to relax in the summer time. No more schedules or homework or expectations. It never works out that it is relaxing. I am trying really hard to not get caught up in the small stuff like chores and having a tidy house because I know that this is our last summer as our family is right now. Big changes are going to be coming one right after another for the next several years. So I just want to enjoy our family and try not to stress the small, insignificant things. I emphasize TRY. I am not always good at this. With this said, here is the quick synapses of June!
I have been trying to get out of my comfort zone a little and try some new things. I have never been a volunteer for a race. All of these years, nice people have helped so that I could race. A few weeks ago I got an email from my work and they were looking for volunteers for a race that they sponsor. I have always wanted to run this race, but they started it I think the year I got pregnant with Hilary and so it just hasn't ever been in the cards. As I was reading the email I noticed that it said that the volunteers get a long sleeve, half zip tec shirt. They had me at hello. I immediately signed up to help. It was a really fun experience. All of the proceeds for this race go to help families going through cancer treatments. At the end of the day I think that they raised 150,00 dollars. It was way fun, even though I had to be up at 2:45am to get there to help load runners on the buses. I saw a lot of my friends. It was super fun, and the shirt turned out to be really cool.
While I was helping at the race I recognized a lady that was also volunteering. She had delivered a baby, maybe 10 years ago that was a still born. I asked her how she was doing and she told me that her husband had died a year before from colon cancer. Another good reminder that we all have our burdens to carry. And that we are never "done" with our trials. This is a scary thought, but it is true. I told her that I was proud of her for getting out and doing something really proactive, when she could be curled up in a ball, and rightfully so. A real inspiration.
I have had several flashes from my past in the last couple of weeks. I have run into or heard from several people from the hospital that have lost babies in the past. They have all come at just the right time to, again, remind me of the perspective that I have been given. It is a true gift.
Halea left on Monday of this week. She and her group from school went on their competition tour. The first group is in Kansas city. Her report is that it is really hot and the people are awesome. She is having a blast. Of course as she was boarding the plane, I was planning her funeral. She was really good about texting me at each leg of her travels. Tomorrow she and her friend fly to their second destination, Nashville, to compete in their second competition. I am really happy that she has this opportunity. After this summer, her life will be different. I hope that she takes advantage of all of the opportunities in college like she has in High School.
I have been missing Tatum desperately these past few weeks. I see all of these sweet little baby girls and I can hardly stand it. Yesterday I was visiting with my neighbor and she has a little grand daughter that is about a year and a half and she kept crawling up in my lap and totally snuggling me. It is nearly heart stopping if I think about how much I miss her, even with all of the swirling chaos around me I cannot distract my mind and my heart from feeling that longing to have her here with our family. I am sure that will never change.