Sunday, July 6, 2014

We All Have Our Cross to Bare....

This seems to have been a reoccurring theme for the past week or so, and it all came to a head this weekend.  The weekend started off with a nice run in the morning.  As I was watering plants and doing some quick weeding I hear this weird noise coming from behind me, over my neighbors house.  I turned around to see this enormous hot air balloon floating just above our houses.  We see them often on the weekends during the summer, but I have never seen one this close.  It was fascinating.  When I went to the back of the house the balloon followed and it flew really low right over our back yard.  All of a sudden I heard Heidi talking to Hilary.  They had their window open in their bedroom.  Heidi had seen it and so she woke Hilary up to show her the balloon.  It was so cute.  So it ended up landing right past our back yard in this big field.  I have never seen one land there.  I was so fascinated with the entire thing.  It was just a cool thing to get the day started.
The weekend continued with a funeral on Saturday morning.  Funerals are always a reminder of the fragile state of life that we are all in, this family now has their own new cross to bare.  The funeral was for one of our patients  from the hospital that unexpectedly lost their baby.  It was a very sad and tender service.
 Then Heidi and I went up to Salt Lake to get pedicures with my niece.  Sunday was Lance's sisters birthday.  She died almost two years ago, so we got pedicures because that is what we did on her last birthday here on earth.  It was fun to reminisce and think about what a great influence she has had on all of our lives.  We sure miss her.  The world just isn't as pretty without her.  It gives me comfort to know that she is taking care of Trevin and Tatum for us.  I am sure it is a real party with her there. (side note, these were the best pedicures ever!! I have only had a handful, but these ladies knew how to do it right.  They massaged our legs and did such a good job on our toes.  It was fantastic.  Heidi was so cute and appreciative and happy to be there).

Sunday morning Hayden and I went to one of Halea's friends missionary farewells.   He and two of his siblings that are the same age as Hayden and Heidi all went to the charter school together.  They are an awesome family and our kids have been friends with each other since the beginning at Mountainville when Halea and their son were in 5th grade.  They too have had their cross to bare.  Their oldest son has had issues for several years.  He got into a rough crowd of friends and stopped going to church and began his struggles with drugs.  When we got to the church I noticed that he was not there.  I was sad to think that he would miss his brother speaking.  Just as he stood up to give his talk, his brother walked in and slid in to the bench, sitting next to his family.  That started all of my emotions.  Then this young man gave the most heart felt talk about love.  He started off his talk with an analogy about why he feels like he needs to serve a mission.  He said (and I will butcher this, so bare with me) that he imagines himself on a ship holding a life preserver and Christ is at the helm.  Their are people all over in the water around them that are swimming toward the ship, and many who are swimming away from the ship.  How can he stay on the ship, holding on to his life preserver?   The life preserver is the gospel of Jesus Christ and we must share it.  We can't force people to get on the ship, but we have to at least offer our life preserver.   About half way through his talk he recited a poem that he had written.  It was only about 6 or 7 lines.  It talked about how he would take his brothers cross to bare, he knew that he could make better choices for him, but he knew that was not how it was supposed to be.  His brother needed to learn to make his own choices.  But let him walk next to him and help him carry his burden, to be there and love him and help him.  It was so so sweet.  By this time I am completely sobbing.  I am pretty sure I snorted at some point.  I just couldn't get over how mature he was.  I am sure that watching his brother struggle the way he has, has helped him really understand what is truly important in life.  You could just feel his love for his brother and for his Heavenly Father.  Then there was a musical number.  This kid and his brother walked up to the stand.  The older brother sat down at the piano and the younger brother stood with his violin.  Hayden leaned over and said that the younger kid is Heidi's age and he used to go to Mountainville.  They proceeded to play the most amazing, beautiful rendition of I Know That My Redeemer Lives that I have ever heard.  The water was flowing out of my eyes down my face.  I am sure I looked like I was in a cartoon or something.  You know how the tears spout out of the cartoon characters faces.  I could NOT compose myself.  I know that I snorted during that.  Hayden looked over at one point and said, "Oh, touching".  I am sure he was horrified to see what I looked like.  I wish I had taken a picture of myself so you could get the whole effect.  Luckily I had NO tissue.  Fortunately I had long sleeves!  It was one of the most amazing sacraments I have been to in awhile.  These missionaries that are going out these days are so prepared.  Many because they have had their own crosses to bare.

We went back to our own ward after their sacrament meeting.  Our Relief Society class was on Baptism.  The poor teacher didn't get the message that she would be teaching that week, so she was not as prepared as she would have liked, so she begged for any comments that we might have to add to the class.  She started talking about our baptisms and what we remembered and then we talked about our own children's baptisms, and how that was different.  Then she started talking about why we baptize at the age of 8.  How we believe that children shouldn't be baptized until they understand the difference between right and wrong, etc.  Then she made the comment, "wouldn't it be great if all of our kids could die before the age of 8, then we wouldn't have to worry about them sinning, and making mistakes".  I felt every ones eyes focus on me.  I giggled a little and leaned next to the person sitting next to me and whispered "it's not as great as it seems", or something to that affect.  She then giggled.  The teacher, (who moved in right during or just after Tatum died), saw us and asked why we were giggling.  So I told her that it isn't as great as it seems.  At one point in the lesson I had shared a thought and I had said that we had an older son that had died before Halea.  So the teacher caught herself and said, "Oh yes, you had a son who died.  How old was he?"  I said that he was 18 months, and we had lost another daughter not too long ago that was just over a year old.  She apologized for her flippant comment.  I assured her that I was not offended, and I wasn't.  Everyone in that room has  had their own cross to bare.  The teacher herself was living in our neighborhood because she and her husband had moved in with their son because his wife had died just a few months after giving birth to their 10th baby!  So, we ALL have our trials.  I am so aware of this fact.
I was so grateful for this weekend.  It was such a good reminder that Heavenly Father is mindful of all of us.  He is there helping us all along the way, if we will just allow Him in to our hearts.  If we look, we will not be able to deny His hand in our lives.   We just have to look.

No comments:

Post a Comment