The three of us leaving the banquet. Thanks UVU.
Wednesday I got to go to lunch with a few friends. We were in Young Women's together and so it was fun to catch up with them. I really miss the awesome ladies that I got to work with for those few years. I just don't get to see them or communicate with them like I did when we were serving together. They were both so kind and supportive while Tates was little and then sick. Friends for life.
That night I went to a "cottage meeting" to get information about some of the legislation that is coming up. It is frightening to think what is happening all around us. Good to get informed and try and understand the ramifications of some of the legislation. Very enlightening.
Thursday I was supposed to go out to a friends house because she was doing a "training" on how to take care of her sweet daughter that just recently had a G-tube placed. I was totally planning on going. I am pretty familiar with all of the accessories that come with a special needs kiddo, but they are all a little different so I wanted to go to support my friend and to get to visit. I started getting really anxious throughout the day. I wasn't really going to know anyone out there which is still pretty uncomfortable for me. Then I started thinking about all of the memories of Tatum and her "accessories". I just wasn't sure if I could handle hearing about all of those special things. That sounds so silly, but that was such a part of her life and I knew that it would spark feelings of missing her terribly. I texted my friend and explained what I was feeling. She was super understanding and said that I could have my own private training. It is so unlike me to run from something that should be so simple. I don't like these silly feelings.
Yesterday (Friday) was Halea's next big day. Wisdom teeth removal! She was pretty nervous for the whole thing. Quite frankly I was too. I was nervous about the general anesthesia. What if she had some freak reaction. Totally possible with our luck! She woke up not feeling well and with a big headache. We arrived at 11:45. They brought us back to her room where they started the IV and prep work. Hilary did not like all of the things they were doing. She was asking lots of questions. She did like when they put the cute blue hat on Halea!
They started administering the meds and she was out in seconds. They finished super quick. I think less than half an hour. I barely had time to fill out some paperwork and read a page in my book! They brought us back to sit with her while she was coming too. A lot of her friends have posted funny videos of them coming out of the anesthesia, so I was poised and ready to capture it. She didn't say one funny thing. The funniest part was how stunned she seemed, very unaware of where she was. She was very with it, though. I tried asking her funny questions, nothing. Her eyes were red and blood shot and I told her that she looked like Zoe (our dog who has a lot of red around her eyes). She didn't think that was funny, but I did. After about a half hour we were able to get her to the car with the help of a wheel chair. She was not feeling super good at first. As we were driving home I could hear Hilary in the back talking to herself. She was saying (to herself) "Is my sister going to be OK?" over and over. My poor little warped girl. She probably saw all of the equipment that they were using for Halea and thought of Tates. The beeping of the Sat machine, the oxygen, the IV. Poor girl. Didn't even cross my mind. I started talking to her and telling her that Halea was doing really good and that she wasn't sick. Traumatized for life.
We got Halea an Oreo shake from Chick fil A and she was able to eat the entire thing. A few hours later she was able to eat soup and fries and then potatoes and mac and cheese. She hardly seemed swollen and she wasn't feeling a lot of pain. She did so well. I hope it continues for today.
Later that afternoon I was called to a hospital to go help a family that had their 5 month old daughter died suddenly. A reminder of how quickly life changes. Never to be the same again. One of my patients was asking me yesterday if you ever feel joy again after losing a baby. I didn't even hesitate, absolutely. In fact I think that you not only feel joy again but you learn to appreciate its presence a lot more because you have been to the depths where it does not reside. Grateful for that appreciation.