Monday morning I was home with Hilary. I had a few minutes and so we decided to sit down and play a little Memory. Bad choice for me. Hilary rocks at this game and she did not disappoint. The version she has is the My Little Pony version and I am not kidding, all of the pictures look the same to me! She killed me, 20-4 matches. She cleared the last 7 matches consecutively. It was unreal. No way to start off your Monday morning.
Wednesday morning I took Hilary out in the stroller for part of our workout because it was warm enough. At one point she said "one of my grandpas is dead". Then she asked "Why do we have to die?" I told her that we all get to die, and our spirits go to heaven, then we get to be back in our body after the Resurrection. She said "Oh, is that when our bones get to be back together?" Sure. Then she asked, "when is the Resurrection?" I told her when Jesus comes again. "When?" I told her I didn't know. Judging from this awesome world, my guess would be sooner than later! These are the funny conversations we have, daily. This morning she was asking me about the "Tatum pillow" that is on our bed. She asked why it was a Tatum pillow, so i explained to her that my friend made it out of the same material that she made Tates dress out of and that it had Tatum's name stitched at the bottom. She put her head in her hands and looked at the pillow for a minute and sighed and said "Tatum doesn't get to lay on her pillow". Ouch. Nope she doesn't. This sweet big sister still prays for Tatum and Trevin to gain weight every time she prays, which is usually at least twice a day. She is valiant and loyal in her love for them.
About a month after Tates got sick a few of my friends encouraged us to sign up for a program that we have here for families of kids with terminal illness or disabilities. They have events a few times a week, like free movies at the movie theaters, amusement park days, museums for free, etc. They host all of these free events for the entire family of the affected child, allowing you to do activities with your sick kids, surrounded by people that understand the beeping of machinery, loud noises, grunts, seizures, etc. Well, good news we got accepted about 2 weeks ago! You have to send off an application through the Internet. Maybe ours got hung up somewhere in the system? Kind of funny and typical.
Tomorrow is 8 months. How is that even possible. The longest, fastest 8 months of my life. I miss Tatum's soft skin and how she smelled and how she felt in my arms. The imprint she has left on our family and in my heart is tangible and never ending. Changed forever.