Friday, February 7, 2014

Going for Gold...

I have been really working on my "month of distractions".  The 14 Days of February has been really fun, at least for me and Hilary and Holden.  I am not sure if the other kids really care, but that's OK, it is really for me anyway:)  Hilary has been very excited every morning to look in her little box to see what her surprise is. The other day she looked early in the morning.  About 10 am that morning I heard her gasp and run up the stairs.  I wasn't sure what she was doing.  A few minutes later she came sadly down the stairs, her eyes were a little red and teary.  I asked her what was the matter.  In a sad, cracking voice she said, "I didn't get a prize in my box".  Then I reminded her that she had got it early that morning.  She got this great big smile and said "Oh yeah", and then she was fine.  So cute.  Now the pressure is on.  I think next year I will add some service during the days.  Maybe I will be more organized by then:) Nice thought at least. 

A few days ago I was watching a show that was highlighting having a "Go for the Gold" Olympic opening ceremonies party.  I thought that sounded really fun, so I told the kids they could invite a few friends, and I invited a few friends.  It was really fun, and again something that I would not normally do.  
Yummy food....
good sign....
.  Lots and lots of candy..., fun friends...Ugly team America sweaters...
Oh and the opening ceremonies.  Party complete.

A few days ago Hilary was sitting at the bar and I was doing some things on the computer.  I was half listening to her talking to herself.  Then I heard her say, "It would be bad if you died in our home".  I told her that I wasn't going to die (after I said the words I regretted saying them.  I can't really make that promise, can I?)  Then she said "Well, Tatum died".  Ouch.  I said "yes she did but remember that her body was sick, not like we get sick with the coughs, but her body was born different than ours".  She said yes that she knew that, but she still didn't seem comforted.  Poor little thing.  Pretty sad that she even puts the connection and understanding together that because her sister died, so can her mom.  I hope that we can somehow help her use all of these experiences to make her life more meaningful.  I feel like losing my only sister at 7 has definitely shaped me into a much more compassionate person.  Hopefully she will feel the same.  

The other night I was at the hospital and I was working with a family that had a sweet little baby that had died just before birth.  One of the grandmas was watching me clean her little granddaughter.  I was wearing my Tatum bracelet (I wear it every day) and she said it was such a pretty bracelet.  I thanked her.  I was glad that she didn't ask any more questions about it because I didn't want to take anything away from their moment, but it made me feel good to know that someone had noticed my bracelet, a twin to the one that Tatum was wearing.

Some family updates:  Halea made it to the next phase of her Sterling Scholar award, she got an interview to see if she will go to the semifinals.  Not everyone got an interview, so this was a big deal.   
Hayden passed step four of six to getting his drivers license.  He is such a funny kid.  I was at the DMV on my sixteenth birthday and so was Halea.   I could not wait to drive.  He is not nearly as motivated apparently.  
Holden is constantly creating.  I came home the other day and he had made his own Valentines box.  What?!   He is so funny.  He also added "fire" to the jet packs that he made for he and Hilary.
Heidi has been doing a lot of drawing and sketching.  All of the kids seem to have that talent, obviously inherited from me.

We have been having a difficult family situation in our extended family.  It has made me very sad, and also very grateful for the beautiful experiences that our family has been able to experience over the past almost 23 years that Lance and I have been married.  We have had some very hard, sad things to accept and work through, but I would not change any of it.  Every bit of it has made us stronger, more loving, more forgiving and understanding, more faithful, more obedient, more hopeful.  I feel like one of my main focuses as a parent and wife right now is to maintain the beautiful spirit that we have been blessed with for the past few years in our home.  I know that our exposure to the powerful feelings of the spirit are vital to our protection from the crazy world that swirls around us.  I am grateful for that knowledge.  Tatum has left an imprint on our lives that will forever be a protection to us all, if we just remember.  We will remember and never forget.

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