Sunday, February 2, 2014

14 Days of February...

I can't believe that it is February.  I knew that this month was going to be a hard one, and it has been thus far.  The other day I was watching a show and I heard someone talking about doing the 14 days of Valentines for their kids.  I didn't get to actually see what their ideas were, but I decided that doing something nice for the kids every day and focusing on all of the qualities that I love about them would help me take my mind off of remembering what happened to our life just 12 months ago.  I kept thinking about going out and getting the supplies that I needed for the next few days, but in Heather style I was at Walmart at 1:00 in the morning on January 31st, actually February 1st.  I found cute little boxes to put outside of their doors, a little trinket to put in their boxes for each of them for each day and pre cut hearts that I could stick on their doors each day with a quality that I love about them written on it.
 It has been a good distraction, but today it hit me that it was ground hogs day.  Last ground hogs day Tates was happily sitting in her bumbo seat while I was making my funny ground hog cookies that I found on Pinterest.  I remember it so vividly because she was so happy and that day was just fun and I was proud of my cookies because that is not something that I would normally do.  We had no idea that our time with her was quickly ticking away.
These are my most favorite pictures of her, taken on that groundhogs day.  The top picture shows her wise eyes.  I am sure she was soaking us all in.

This month has also started off a little strange.  On Thursday there was a weird shooting and killing of a Sherrif Deputy, not too far from where we live.  It was such a sad, sad situation.  It was just another reminder that life is so fragile.  At any moment, any one of us could be called home.  We just don't know.  Just like we had no idea how quickly Tates would end her stay with us on earth.  These things always remind me to live life, the best that we can.   My heart just broke for this family.  I found out later that I knew the officers sister, through some mutual friends.  I have such a hard time when officers are targeted by these evil people because they are out there protecting all of us.   Such a huge sacrifice.
Then on Friday I was called by another family to go up to a hospital in Salt Lake to do some hand molds of their parents because their dad was dying.  Before I went I ran down to the hospital in Provo.  Hilary was with me, of course.  We went into a supply closet and as we were leaving she spotted something.  She said "those are the pink suckers!"  I looked down and saw the pink spongies that we used to use to wet Tatum's mouth and to brush her teeth.  I said "yes, those are what we used to use for Tates ha?"  She said yes and then we had a little conversation about that.  It was sweet that she remembered those.  She used to love to help wet Tater bugs mouth for her.  I am sure it felt so good to Tatum.
 When I got to Salt Lake,  I was taken aback a little.  This poor man was literally probably hours from dying.  His breathing was very labored, but he was still a little responsive.  His family was gathered around.  It brought back a lot of memories of my sister in law that died a little over a year ago. I was grateful to be there and hopefully help them preserve a good memory of their parents.  I don't know why I have been called to do this for people, but I feel so lucky to do it.   I am always grateful for the spirit that is so tangible during those very difficult times.  Angels truly do come to comfort and support.
Luckily Lance and I had planned a date with our neighbors, because I was in desperate need for some fun by Friday night.  It was a great night.  We went for Thai food and it was delicious.  We just sat and talked for a few hours.  Their son and Hayden are good friends and so we have a lot to talk about.  It was the highlight of the week for sure.

Saturday morning I had a funeral to go to.  (stop being jealous of all of the fun things I get to attend) It was for a sweet baby that I got to meet at the hospital.  It was a beautiful celebration.  I know I have said this before, but I actually really like going to funerals.  I never walk away the same.  I always learn something.  The spirit was very sweet.  The only thing that could have made it better is if the little boy that was sitting  in front of me  would have not been picking his nose and eating it!  Why are kids so gross sometimes?!

Saturday night my friend and I had planned to take Heidi and her daughter that is Heidi's age out for some shopping.  Halea also decided to grace us with her presence, probably because there was going to be food involved.  Again I was in need of some light fun.

 We ended up at the Cheesecake factory.  Wow.  Having regrets about this!
Heidi reading to Hilary.  She is such a great big sister.

I have had a lot of reminders this week that we are never alone in our journey, if we will just allow the Savior in, He will carry our burden.  Also, there is always someone out there that is going through something harder.  I never like to compare myself or my situation to others because what everyone goes through is different.  But I know that what my family and I are going through is not the worst thing that we could experience.  There have been so many amazing blessings through this journey.  Knowing this will never make the hurt go away, but it surely makes it a little more bearable.

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