I think the title says it all. How can I not miss this? Especially when I woke up this morning and the temperature on our outside thermometer read 29 degrees. Are you kidding me? I can already feel the Seasonal Affect Disorder setting in.
It was a little hard coming home, especially on Tuesday cause we walked in the door and immediately had to get ready for the activity that night at the church. It was a really fun activity, it just made for a really long day. Especially because the car ride home was quite long, so long that everyone but Hilary and Halea are grounded:) If that sets the stage for ya at all.
It was good to get home and find all was well at home, and sleep in our own bed.
This morning I had a call to the hospital, so I got a late start on my run/walk. I was almost going to stay inside and do the treadmill, because it seemed a little cold and Hilary was not feeling her best. But my friend called and so I ended up running down and walking with her for a bit. Then I took a route that I never take. As I was getting close to my house I saw one of my friends coming my way. I hadn't seen her for a little while and so she walked with me for a bit so we could catch up. She started telling me all of the hard things that she was experiencing and I felt awful for her. Again, another example of the fact that we are all going through really hard things. I have thought about her all day.
The rest of the day was good. I still feel like it takes me twice as long to get things done. I feel like I totally move in slow motion or something. I am just easily distracted or something. I try not to stress over things because I know that eventually it will all get done, just maybe not when I want them done. Which I have learned is fine.
This afternoon I was able to go and watch Halea run in her last Cross Country race for her High School career. What a great experience it has been for her. I am so proud of her for sticking with it. It is not an easy sport, it takes a lot of time and commitment. But the rewards have been great. She has made a lot of really great friends that hold the same values as her. I will really miss all of these kids as they all go their different directions after High School. They have been so sweet with Halea. A few years ago when Halea was in California on a Cross Country road trip Hilary had her febrile seizure. I had to tell her over the phone, all the while trying to reassure that Hilary was fine and not to worry. She seemed OK on the phone, but I think after she got off the phone she totally broke down. Her friends and her coaches all rallied around her, prayed with her, gave her a blessing and helped distract her from worrying. Little did we know that a little over a year later would be the real test. They truly walked with her this past 10 months from when Tatum got sick until now. They are all so sweet about it. It has been a blessing as a mother to know that she is surrounded by people who really care about her. Great group of kids. If your kids ever ask what sport they should do in high school, yell cross country!
One of our friends from our first married ward that had come and visited us in December saw Halea at her meet today, right after I had left. She gave them my cell number and called me tonight. There number had been disconnected before I could call and tell them all that had happened with Tatum. I had felt really awful for several months that I hadn't got in contact with them. It seemed like every time I had gone to send them an email, I would get distracted or I just couldn't think of what to say. After talking for a bit she asked how our family was doing and I was able to tell her a brief synapses of what happened. I am sure she was shocked. It just isn't ever what you expect to hear from someone. I guess people might start expecting horrible things when they talk to us after it has been awhile. That will teach them to call! They moved really close to us so I am so excited to go and visit with them and I am so relieved that they know. It was really bugging me.
Tonight as everyone was settling into bed, I pulled out Trevin's autopsy report so I could find the name of the pathologist that performed it and wrote down Alpers Syndrome. One of my friends husbands works with the Medical Examiners office and might know him. I wanted to get an address so I could send him a thank you note. That probably seems weird, but they have to have the most thankless job in the world and so I am sure that they never get thank you notes. If it weren't for him we would have had to put little Tater Bug through a lot of crazy testing like we did with Trevin. He saved us a lot of time and just torture for her. As a mother that is a priceless gift. We knew immediately what we were dealing with, because of him.
As I was looking at the autopsy report, Halea came up and was asking questions about it. I told her what I was doing with it. She asked why none of the doctors had ever seen that disease on his report. I told her the only explanation was a miracle. Had we known that was what it was, we would have never had our next six beautiful kids. What a true miracle. I am sure that most would not look at it that way, but we have to. I know that is what it is. I will praise my Heavenly Father for it for the rest of my days.
Something that I was thinking about a lot today was the blessings that obedience brings. No one is ever perfectly obedient, but I know that Heavenly Father and our Savior know when we are trying our hardest. And they in turn bless us, often times without us knowing. Lance and I early on in our marriage made some decisions in our conduct and in how we do and obey certain commandments, that I know we have been blessed for. (again, we are soooooo not perfect so don't take this the wrong way) Sometimes people have teased us and razzed us for some of these things, but the more and more wicked this world becomes the more and more grateful I am for those decisions. I am grateful that our kids have grown up knowing and practicing in some of those same decisions. I just know that you can't ever be too obedient or "too safe". I would much rather be erring on the over obedient side. I am grateful really for Lance, cause if anyone knows me, it probably wasn't my idea to make those decisions. I am just grateful for a lot of things tonight.