Thursday, November 28, 2013

Throw Back Thanksgiving 2012...

Thanksgiving 2013 started off early.  I got called to the hospital at 12:30 am.  As I was finishing up with the family they were saying there last goodbyes to their baby.  I was standing by the mothers bed waiting for her to hand the baby to me to take to another room so I could get her ready to take to the morgue.  There were tears streaming down the moms face as she was contemplating how to take the next step in this heart wrenching process.  As she handed me her baby she the mother grabbed at her own chest, heaving.  I cradled her baby and took her out of the room.  I felt so awful for her because I knew that pain that actually feels like your heart is going to literally break.  It is only by the grace of our Heavenly Father that our heart continues to beat.  This was not how I thought Thanksgiving 2013 was going to begin.

 I got home and slept for a few hours and then Halea and I got up and ran down to my friends house.  Her and her family and a few neighbors were doing a Turkey Trot 4 mile run.  It was a glorious morning.  It was probably the warmest Thanksgiving I can remember in a lot of years.  It was so fun and I was really glad that we did it.  I might of been a little more lazy had I not known that there were people that were going with me.

As we were heading home several fire engines and ambulances and police cars went flying up the hill towards our neighborhood.  I joked around and said, "someone trying to burn the house down on Thanksgiving".  As we entered our neighborhood one of my neighbors was driving toward me and stopped and said that one of our neighbors had a fire in their attic.  What a horrible Thanksgiving.  Everything seemed to work out OK.  No one was hurt.  I think they were very protected and watched over.  It could have been way worse.

After preparing our food assignments the family all headed up to Salt Lake where they were having dinner.  I decided that I could not participate in Thanksgiving this year.  It was at one of our sister in laws home that has been quite mean to me for 22 years.  I just decided that I have worked too hard to try and preserve the sweet spiritual feelings that I can still feel.  I didn't want to go and be around darkness on this already difficult day.   I knew that they would not acknowledge that Tatum was even missing.  I just couldn't deal with it all today.  So I stayed home and fixed a little lunch and watched the dog show with Zoe!  I painted my toes, in honor of little Tates.  I rested a bit from my long night.  I read my book.  It wasn't the worst day.

Then I made pot pies to bring up to our other families house where we were all meeting to play games.  It was fun to hang out with the family.  We watched the Steelers game ( close game but they lost!).

A year ago, this was not how I thought Thanksgiving 2014 would be.  I had worries last year at this time, but I was still hopeful.  I can't believe this has all really transpired in less than a year.  In less than a year our entire lives are turned upside down.  I'm trying really hard to remember and focus on all of the good things that have happened because of our sweet Tatum.  I just miss her so much.  I feel like I miss her more and more every day.

All of these pictures were taken about this time last year.  Who would have thought everything would be so different in just a year.  I am so thankful for the beautiful year that we got to spend with our sweet Tatum.  Her spirit and the lessons she taught us while she was here will be forever in our hearts.  We miss our sweet Tatum and Trevin.

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