When I was driving through my neighborhood, on the way home from class, I started noticing that everyone had their recycle garbage cans out. I had only put out our regular garbage because I didn't think that it was recycle week. Ugh. Luckily the cold front had come in the night before and so it was about 12 degrees out, with a brisk wind! I parked the car and ran to the back to try and drag our crippled cans to the curb. Both of our garbage cans have broken wheels so they are real fun to drag to the curb, especially when it is 12 degrees out and windy. As I was pulling the most injured can a wind caught it and blew it on to its side. Luckily I had just filled it with a bunch of loose school papers because we are cleaning out drawers in the house! Yeah, papers started blowing everywhere. I started laughing, wondering if the camera was rolling. I put the can back up and started trying to gather all of the papers that were blowing all over. Luckily several of them stuck to the frozen ground, giving me time to catch them. By the time I got back in the house I was FROZEN!
Luckily the day got better and I was able to find humor in my misfortunes.
Today was a really good day. I was able to cross a lot of those little pesky things off of my list that I have needed to do for awhile but just haven't made time. It was soooo freezing today and I just wanted to stay home, but Hilary and I had to brave the cold to run some errands. One of the errands was to go to the hospital. None of the family has been down since they hung the cute pictures of Tatum in the new Labor and Delivery station, so I thought she would get a kick out of seeing Tates hanging on the walls. She was pointing at all of the cute baby pictures on the walls, so I told her I had some special ones to show her. We rounded the corner to where they are hanging and she looked up and said, 'That's Tatum and that's Tatum" (there are two hanging side by side right now, until they get the bigger one of her). Then she sort of put her head down and said "We sure miss Tatum". Ouch. Poor little thing. My heart just broke for her. Then she started talking about how Tatum and Trevin wouldn't be with us for Christmas. It was just really sweet. Sometimes I wonder what she feels. That said it all. She misses her like we do. Probably more than we know. She handles it like a true champ. I am sure that she has been lent extra understanding to help her through this heart breaking separation. Love that little girl.
We went over to where one of my friends works to mail pictures and say hi to her. She is always so sweet with Hilary. She always has some fun treats. This time she had a cute little pinwheel and two little mini wind socks to put out at Trevin and Tatum's grave. Hilary thought that was really cool. When we brought them home no one could touch them because they were for the cemetery! She is a little bit bossy. I think that I will hold on to them until spring time. They are so cute, one pink and one blue wind sock!
We had our Relief Society Progressive dinner tonight. I always get a little nervous to be in big crowds. Even though most of the people there tonight know what has happened, I just don't know what might come out of my mouth, ya know? It actually turned out to be really fun because I got to visit with several ladies from our Young Women organization. It is really weird to go from talking to someone almost daily to nothing. It has been a hard adjustment and I miss those amazing ladies. I just need to be better about just reaching out, cause they are still my friends and I don't need an "excuse" to talk to them. The only funny thing that happened was that one of my friends was teasing me and saying that she wanted me to pray for her to be able to sell her house. I don't want her to move so I teased back and said I was praying for the opposite. She made the comment that my prayers get answered so i needed to help her sell her house. I looked at her funny and said something like, " Yeah this has been a real year of prayers answered!" I was just teasing her, cause I do know that my prayers were heard and answered to the extent that they could be. I think she felt bad, but I really did think that it was funny. Ya gotta laugh.
I am trying really hard to have the Christmas spirit and trying not to be a bah humbug. It isn't easy right now. I usually love Christmas, but the real Christmas not the commercial Christmas. I love to think about the Savior and all that this time of celebration means. I love how pretty our houses are decorated with that celebration in mind. It is just sometimes hard with such a heavy heart. I have been trying to think about what my next step is with myself. What do I do with myself now? I have been exploring some things in my mind and I made some calls today to start thinking about what I need to do with the gifts and knowledge that I have been blessed with in this past year. I feel like Tatum wants me to do something with the things that we have learned. When I figure it all out I will let you know, it is a work in progress.
Tonight when I got home, Halea told us that there was a picture of Jesus sitting on her desk and Hilary came up and looked at it and said "I love Jesus Christ." Out of the mouths of babes. She knows better than us all what He has done for us and how He continually lends comfort and guidance and example to us.
Overall, some pretty good days. I laughed more than I cried. Success.