Yesterday was way too busy. Hilary and I left the house at 10am and didn't get home until after 4:00. It was all good things that we needed to do, but honestly it was long. Poor Hilary was such a champ until the very end when she kept saying, "I just want to go home". Me too! When we got home, Halea was there with a friend and the kids were in and out so I was visiting with all of them. All of a sudden I realized that I hadn't heard Hilary for a few minutes. I walked into the hallway and this is what I found:
We did a lot of driving yesterday so I had a lot of time to think and to listen to music. A month or so ago a friend of mine dropped off Hilary Weeks' latest CD, the one with the song "Beautiful Heartbreak" on it. It is a rarity that I ever listen to an entire CD by an artist. There is just usually that one or maybe two songs that you buy it for and then the rest of the songs are junk, right? Well, this entire CD is so uplifting, inspiring, calming and just fun to listen to. I feel like every message in every song applies to my life. I have now listened to it probably 50 times. There was a lot of time that Hilary was talking or needing things, but when I had some quiet time to listen and ponder it was awesome. In one of her songs she talks about how the discouragements in our lives can't stay within us if we don't allow them to. I love that. It made me think about the light of Christ that everyone of us is born with. If we allow that light to grow within us it can overtake the darkness that tries to creep in daily, from the influences of the world, from discouragement and hardship and sadness and media, etc. The key is what we are doing with that light. Are we allowing it to dim or are we continually recharging it? We have to be constantly evaluating this process or all of a sudden we might be not as filled with light as we need to be. Some people that you meet exude this light, others not as much. I want to be one that exudes the light of Christ. I want to have so much light within me that the darkness that comes at me throughout my life cannot dwell in me, or even near me. Every time that I am able to do a good deed or a service or have a good thought or read a good talk I can feel this light being charged. While I was driving and pondering, the part of this entire thing that I loved is that all of us are born with this light naturally within us. It is a gift given to all of us, to help us and encourage us and help us feel joy inside, help us to recognize the spirit and to have glimpses of the love that our Savior and our Heavenly Father have for us. As we get older and jaded by the world we sometimes forget how to access the light. It is a challenge to us all to try and access the light within us a little more and to keep it brilliant.
I had several good cries while listening to her CD. There is another song about not wanting her kids to grow up so fast and how she wishes time would stand still. Oh what I wouldn't give.
During all of this crazy I was able to finally get my hair done. It has been 12 weeks since I had my color touched up. Yikers. The day after we got home from the hospital with Tatum that last time my hair person called me and said that I was scheduled for an appointment right then. I had, obviously forgotten all about it! I debated whether to go or not. All I could think of was "How could I spend any time away from Tatum" ? I did go, and I am really glad that I did. It gave me a long time that I didn't have to worry about my roots growing in. I haven't had any desire to get my hair done until the last week. It worked out perfectly timing wise.
Although yesterday was busy and crazy I know that each day is a gift. I really knew that with Tatum. We knew as soon as Tatum got sick that we were on borrowed time. We tried really hard to live that way. I tried hard to appreciate every minute we had with her. I know that I need to carry that feeling on into our everyday lives. It certainly makes the busy days more bearable and enjoyable.
Today was busy too, but for a lot better reasons today. I was able to go on a long walk with Hilary this morning. Then I met a friend at the Dinosaur Museum. Hilary is so afraid of the dark right now and there are a few places where there is some darkness and roaring from the dinosaurs, so I was worried that she might be too afraid, but she did OK. She got a little nervous in some parts, but for the most part did good. I ran into a sister of one of my most favorite neighbors that moved away a few years ago. It was fun to talk to her. I was dreading that she was going to ask me how many kids I had, and she did sort of. I was able to dance around an actual answer, so it was fine. I think she probably remembered about Tatum, but I just really didn't want to get into the entire story, so luckily I didn't have to.
Next Hilary and I went to lunch with a few of the mom's that have kids on the high school cross country team. It was really fun to visit with these great women. All of the kids on the cross country team are so awesome, and when you meet the mom's and dad's you know why. Sadly the dreaded question happened again. I think I did OK. One of the ladies just asked if Halea was our oldest. I said that she was and then I said well our son Trevin would have been 20, but Halea is the oldest now. I think that it wasn't too awkward. I think that I need to start saying that Halea is the oldest still alive. That is what she would say when she was little when people would ask if she was the oldest. It shut people up pretty quick and gave them something to think about afterward. Maybe I will wait until I am old and have dementia or Alzheimer's or something like that so then people will just think that I was crazy, and they would be right. Right now if they thing I am "crazy" it's all speculation.
After driving carpool and dropping the kids off at home I ran up to Salt Lake for Halea's cross country meet. I am weird because I love to watch these races. I am always so proud of Halea for getting out there and trying and pushing herself to do better. It is inspiring. I even like watching when Halea isn't running. Strange I know.
Then I ran home and met Lance and Holden, Hayden and Hilary at pack meeting. Cute Holden was helping with the flag ceremony. I couldn't stop laughing at the flag that they had for him to hold. We weren't at the church so they had to just make do with what they had! We have come to the flags on a stick. Oh boy.
When we got home we had a crazy thunderstorm that gave some much needed rain. Lance and Holden were hilarious running around trying to put batteries in all of our flash lights and finding our headlamps and unplugging things that we didn't want to be ruined when the power blinked off. Lehi city has got to be one of the worst providers of power. Our power blacks out if there is a slight breeze so Lance was trying to be prepared. What we came up with out of like 6 flash lights, were two working ones! and no batteries. We think that Hilary likes to change batteries without asking and throwing away perfectly good batteries. This was not the time to find that out! Luckily our power stayed on and all was well. It probably wouldn't have stayed on had we not tried to be prepared. Murphy's law:)
Another day getting to do "mom" things. I am so lucky that I am able to be mostly available to support the kids in their activities. That is truly a gift. I know that not everyone has that opportunity. Even though it was an exhausting day, I know that today was also a gift.