On Friday Halea and I had an appointment to talk to her English teacher from last year. Halea informed me about 3 weeks into summer that her final grade for the last term in English was a B-. I probably would not have been too worked up about the grade, what with everything that was going on in all of our lives that last term of school, until she told me that a B- disqualified her for the scholarship that she had so carefully positioned herself for the past 3 years to get upon graduation. The reason that she got a B- also fired me up about going and talking to this teacher. Halea turned in an assignment ,on time . early in May. A few days later is when Tatum's health really started to decline. She was in the hospital several times. In all of this Halea did not check her grades on line, like she usually did. A few weeks before school was out Halea checked her grade and realized that she had a 0 for that assignment. She went and talked to the teacher and she was told that she could turn it in. When she got the assignment back she realized that she had only been given partial credit. The difference between her B- and a B which would qualify her for the scholarship is about 5 or 10 points. Ummm... So this week Halea emailed this teacher to see if she could meet and talk about her grade. The teacher emailed back and said that she would be happy to see Halea but if it was about her grade she was not going to change it. She said that the grade she got is the grade she earned. Oh no she didn't!!! Yep she did. I was pretty livid. How dare she not even give her a chance to discuss. Halea has a 3.9 GPA. She is a great student and she would never lie about not turning in an assignment if she truly had not. I have never gone and talked to a teacher with any of my kids because I think that they should work things out themselves. I think they need to learn to negotiate, and stand up for themselves and learn to get along with all personalities. Well, not this time. That morning when I prayed I prayed that this teacher would allow her heart to be softened and listen, and that I would not kill her or say bad things that I would regret:) Halea was super nervous so I started off by saying that Halea wanted to talk about an assignment from last term. Halea explained that she had turned in the assignment on time and that she had only received partial credit and that because of that her grade would take her out of her scholarship. Again the teacher stated that she had given the grade that was "earned". She kept using that word!! I smiled and said that this was a pickle because it comes down to he said she said. I told her that this was not in Halea's nature to lie about turning in an assignment and she agreed!? She said she couldn't believe that it was so late because it wasn't like her, but there was nothing she could do about it. Then I explained that this takes her out of her scholarship. She still didn't care. Then I had to pull in the big gun. I asked her if she knew what Halea and our family were experiencing that last term of school. She said no. Then I told her that for that entire last term of school her sister was dying. She said, "I didn't know that. Halea never said anything and you never contacted me. So how was I supposed to know?" Really accusatory. I told her that I am not a helicopter mom and I don't usually interfere in things like this, but I felt like I needed to come and support Halea in this cause because I think it is remarkable that she even passed all of her classes considering what was happening at home. She did tell Halea in a half hearted way that she was sorry about her sister. I then apologized to her for not coming in the summertime, but that it had been a rough summer. She then proceeded to tell us that she had not access to her computer or classroom anyway because there were summer classes being taught in her classroom. Then she said "this was just the worst summer". Really? Did she hear what I had just said? Wow. I am sure it was rough not having access to your room or computer. That is probably pretty life altering. It ended with me asking her if she would think about the situation and look into the grade and see if there was anything that she could do. She at least agreed to that. I told her that I would contact her in two weeks. Seriously? Is this what our educators have come to? Halea was one of the few students in her class that would try to participate and turn assignments in. Now let's punish her. Ahhhhhhhhhh.
The second story out of the high school. I was driving Halea and Hayden home on Friday afternoon and this is the conversation:
Halea: "Hayden did you tell your Chemistry teacher that you were a German foreign exchange student?"
Hayden: "Yep" (laughing the entire time)
Halea: "That is one of my cross country coaches. Don't do that. Did you ever tell them the truth?"
Hayden: "Some of them. One of the cheerleaders asked why I didn't have an accent and I told her that I decided a month ago to try and have a Utah accent".
Good gracious are you serious!? This is the first week in a new school. I am in big trouble with him. He might have a little too much of his mother in him!
That night my friend and I went to the Lehi football game. We got to see a mini miracle that night. Lehi won! We have really struggled over the past several years, so it was fun to see the boys win.
On Saturday morning I woke up early and went for a quick run. This is what I saw when i walked out the door:
After I got back from the bike ride, we quickly got ready and went to a funeral for one of my friends dad that died this past week. I love funerals. The spirit is usually very strong and I love to see families uniting during a difficult time despite hard feelings or lack of relationship. My friend and her husband both spoke and so it was great to hear their feelings and testimonies. I was glad that we went.
When we got home we ran to the store to buy a dessert to bring to the ward barbecue. I tried all day to think of a dessert to make, but I just couldn't do it. My energy the past few days has been the pits. My desire to do certain things has been even lower. I can so understand how people that experience loss can go into a total tailspin. This is so exhausting. It has been 12 weeks as of yesterday, that I was able to hold and smell and kiss and tell my sweet Tatum that I love her. I feel like I am carrying a brick wall on my chest. I feel like I try really hard to be happy for what is still here and to live in the present, but it is not easy. I am so lucky that I have great friends that surround me and a faith that will not allow me to stay down. I want to. I would like to take to my bed and not come out until this whole thing is over, but I still have 5 kids here that need a mom. A mom to be an example of doing hard things. I need to be a wife that Lance wants to be around and spend the rest of eternity with. So that is what I will be.