Friday, May 31, 2013

Angels are Near....

We just wanted to take a minute to update everyone.  We feel the end is very close.  We have felt such peace in our home and around her.  We know that her angels are near and that her departure to the other side is very near.  We had the kids all come down last night and give her kisses and spend time with her.  We had a sleepover and they all spent the night on "her" couch last night so that they would be close if she passed.  Much to our surprise she did not pass in the night.  She is giving us all of the love she can before she goes.  Watching her do this hard thing is very difficult and inspiring and comforting.  I know that our Heavenly Father designed our bodies for these circumstances.  She seems very peaceful despite the horrific signs that her body is giving.   We are so fortunate to have her home with us and we have loved every second that we have had to snuggle her and stroke her sweet head.  We love this little angel in our midst.  How lucky are we?

Yesterday was a pretty great day.  It was a short day at school for the kids so they were able to go do some fun things after they got out.  Lance and I were able to spend quite a bit of time with Tatum and Hilary.  I really just sat on the couch and held her for most of the day.  We had a few visitors but for the most part it was quiet.  I did get the chance to fire hospice:)  It just didn't feel right.  I felt so uncomfortable adding anyone new to Tatum's care.
I took several pictures yesterday because for some reason her coloring looked so much better to us.  What a blessing.  So we took some video and some pictures.  Lance helped me get her ready in the morning and she looked beautiful in her butterfly shirt.  These past few weeks I have had this overwhelming feeling that I have been taking care of a sweet little older person, not a baby.  Her hair even appeared to change color.  Her enormous spirit has emerged from her little body.  What an honor to be her mother.  I don't know what I will do when I can't take care of her anymore.  To some the day to day care of her might have seemed a burden or overwhelming, but I have truly counted it as one of my biggest blessings in this life to be the one to care for her.   Last night as I was getting all of her medicines ready, I was so sad that it could be one of the last times.  I hope that she has felt that respect and love.

She was awake quite a bit yesterday, and when I would look at her she would look right back at me, like she was listening and soaking it all in.  I was having Hilary help me yesterday to sponge Tatum's mouth and put on her lips (chapstick).  Hilary always liked to help me with that.  I told her that Tatum was going to live with Heavenly Father soon and she said "But I need her".   Ohhh.  I know.  I need her too.  This whole night I just keep thinking, how do I turn this back.  Please don't let this happen.  Then I look at her trapped in this broken down little body and I have to be OK to let her go.

We have been so abundantly blessed with good friends and neighbors and family and co workers that have constantly checked on us, served us, loved us.  We have seen the greatness in all of you.  We can never express our thanks.  It has meant so much to our family.  We are especially grateful that you have allowed Tatum to complete her mission here on earth by feeling her goodness and sharing her message that there is a plan for all of us, and that Heavenly Father loves each one of us and that our Savior walks beside us daily to help us to hopefully return to our eternal home when the time comes.  What an example and a true angel we have been in the presence of.  We love you Tatum Hope Walker.


11 comments:

  1. Holy Ground this is. I drove by your home,Heather, after the fireside Tuesday to offer a prayer for your family. I felt I was on Holy Ground... even from the road. It is a sacred thing to have a little spiritual giant in our midst. We are all lifted by her mighty spirit. Much love friend.

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  2. I'm sure they are very near. My heart breaks for you and your family, but what a sacred experience. What a blessing to have her at home with you as this happens. You teach me so much.

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  3. I'm sure angels are near Heather. Your Heavenly Father would not ever leave you alone during this time. My heart and thoughts and prayers are with Tatum, you and your family. God bless you.
    Christy Cram

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  4. What a beautiful message. We are so grateful for Tatum's life and for yours! I put her name and your family's on the temple prayer roll last night and pray His peace to continue with you!
    Jenny Bullock

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  5. Heather, I just wanted to chime in and thank you for sharing this precious, sacred journey. My prayers are with you. May you and your family continue to be comforted and strengthened.

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  6. What a blessing Tatum is to everyone who knows her. So noble and strong- fighting to complete her mission here on earth. You and your family will continue to be blessed and watched over....now you will have two very special angels to watch over your family. Remember how we would say that Trevin was getting babysat by the best babysitter in the world? Now Trevin will be able to be Tatum's babysitter until you are all together again. She has had the best care here on earth and will continue to get the best care in heaven. I just can't fathom the pain you will all be feeling but know you will continue to be lifted up in prayer. Love you...see you soon! You know how you said Tatum always gets what she needs? And how you said you were going to work on her to get us out to Utah? Here we come! ;)

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  7. May Angels continue to surround you...I am sure Trevin will be the one to take his sister home...He probably can't wait! We love you and are praying for continued comfort and peace!

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  8. Thank you so much for sharing Tatum's beautiful life. I love you Heather and am so thankful for the angel you are in my own life. You have faced this heartache with so much faith and strength and inspired so many. My heart is aching with you as you say goodbye to your sweet little girl. I pray that Trevin and Tatum will stay near you in this difficult time, loving their amazing mother that has brought so much peace to so many aching hearts. You and your little Tatum are true heroes in my sight. So much love headed your way.

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  9. I'm aching for your dear little family, and Tatum has been in our prayers every night. What a courageous woman you are, you inspire me...and beautiful Tatum inspires us all. What a choice Spirit she is, her mission to teach us all about faith and trusting in the Lord. May you all have peace and comfort in this difficult task you are asked to endure. "Be still and know that I am", He's there and will cradle Tatum in his arms. Loads of love, the Goodwins

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  11. Thank you so much for sharing this message. It has inspired me to be a better person and to cherish the moments with my little heart hero, Emily, even more than I already do. Thank you so much!

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