Remembering...

Tatum Update.   Tatum had a pretty good day.  She is still a little gurgly, requiring suctioning, and we have to mess with her oxygen intake when she is awake.  When she sleeps she breathes so much easier.

Today was our Walk of Remembrance that we do for the hospital organization that I work with.  Any family that has lost a child in the past several years is invited.  We changed venues this year to an amazing park up Provo Canyon, the Mt. Timpanogos park.  It was a beautiful day.  We had a pretty good turn out, considering that my invitations were late getting out to people.  I blame it on the hospital mail.  We were able to have a balloon release this year which was nice.  People wrote notes to their baby either by attaching a note or writing directly on the balloons.   Either Melanie or myself read the names of the babies and then we walked out of the pavilion and released the balloons all together.  It is always a really fun event.  Heart breaking to see all of the families that have had this hard experience.  Today I gave a little thought about how these things really make us better people, and help us to reach our spiritual potentials.  I really do believe that, I have had a hard time today wanting to go through the valley, however.  I know that the journey through to the other side of where we are is so painful, I just don't want to do the final step.  Again, the second coming, anytime soon?  Really.  Halea came with me this morning to help out and she got our balloon ready with Trevin's name on it and all I kept thinking was that next year I will have two stupid balloons!  See my attitude today has not been the best.  My emotions today are a little raw, I am not sure why.  I feel like my heart is starting to try to prepare itself for that final blow.  So not ready.
Anyway, I though that I would include a few pictures of our adorable, sweet boy Trevin.  He has been the glue that has held our family together, truly.  How could we disappoint a face like that by messing up down here on earth.  He is waiting for us.  Miss our sweet son who would be turning 20 on May 27th.

Trevin at about 8.5 months.  About 2 months before he got sick.

Who doesn't take their kid with the feeding tube camping?  What was I thinking.  I am sure this was not doctor approved.   Just trying to be a little "normal" I guess.  he really did enjoy it, I think.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day.  I am so grateful to be a Mother.  It is the best "job" in the world.  I am so lucky.  I know that not everyone has the opportunity.  Even though I am not the best mother always, I try my best and when I fail I try really hard to do better the next time.  Motherhood has not been easy for me.  I struggle with a severe lack of patience.  Motherhood and a lack of patience does not usually make a good combo, so I have really had to work on that.  Thankfully I have a husband who helps me and kids who for the most part are patient with me and my imperfections.  I love them all.

 Wearing her cute new dress.  She may never have to wear the same outfit twice due to the extreme generosity of others.

 Daddy time..

I know, another profile picture.  i just can't help it.

How could this not be a picture.  A cute little manicured foot peeking out of the blanket.  Yummy.

I am grateful to have spent time with Tatum today.  Some days she doesn't do super good if you hold her, but today her oxygen levels were the best while I was holding her.  A gift I needed today.
I am grateful for a much needed nap today!
Grateful for a daughter who went running with her slow old mom tonight.  That was a great Mother's Day gift.
I am teaching a lesson on personal revelation tomorrow for the Young Women.  I am grateful that I had a few examples just this week!  How amazing is that.
I am grateful for good friends and family who exemplify our Savior in their service to our family.  I have too many examples to list.  I am overwhelmed every day.  Bless you all.