Monday, March 18, 2013

Don't Forget The Siblings

Today was another so so day.  Tatum is still not quite herself.  I think that she has a tummy ache.  I have investigated any other ailment that I can think of.  Today she was sad if I wasn't holding her, which was fine, because that was what I had planned.  She was sad of course until the siblings came home!

Hilary of course was with her all day.  At one point today she told me that "Tatum needs me".  How true that is.  I see the way that Tatum watches Hilary as she runs around like a crazy girl.  Tatum must know that she will only get to spend a little time here with Hilary and she wants to soak it all in.   The two of them must have an incredible bond having so much time in the preexistence waiting to join our family.  It makes me very sad to think that Hilary will understand very little of what is going on when Tatum leaves us.  All of a sudden she will just be gone.  Thank goodness for the Gospel to help us explain to her as she gets older.

Holden, the little sweetheart.  He definitely has a soft spot for Tatum.  He always has gentle kisses and pats for her.  The other day he walked into the kitchen and announced that Tatum had said "I love you" to him.  I think that she did too.  I worry about his soft little heart.  He does have a very understanding heart, so that will serve him well in the months to come.

Heidi, sweet Heidi.  She is always the one willing to sit with Tatum if I need to do something or go somewhere quick.  Her most recent purchase is a Ukulele.  I will often find her playing and singing to her little sister.  Her latest song is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow".  So adorable.  Heidi is always the one to come to my defense if someone is sassy to me.  She is a real sensitive girl.   She has been the one to ask the most questions about Tatum.  I can see that she is scared, and I wish that I could take that away for her.  I just keep trying to bear testimony of the things that I know are true.  It doesn't make the hurt any less, just bearable.

Ahh, Hayden, the tough teenage boy of the family, and the one that Tatum ALWAYS has a smile, a laugh, millions of raspberries for.  Even today she did.  She lights up when he is around.  It is ridiculous.  He can be so sassy to me, walk in to talk to her and he is a total gentlemen.  I know in my heart of hearts that Hayden is part of Tatum's purpose.  I know that she is here to soften his heart and help him to know how to feel the spirit and to remember that feeling after she is gone.  He is a good soul, just has a hard time expressing it all of the time.  She definitely brings out the best in him.  Tonight I went in while he was talking to her and realized that he had put a Steelers Bracelett, that one of his friends had given him, on Tatum's arm.  Thus it made the blog picture of the night:

Then there is Halea:  Halea obviously understands more than the others.  She carries the heavy burden of knowing what is coming.  She is always so disappointed if she comes home from a busy day and Tates is already asleep.  She usually comes home and goes right to the living room to see little Tater Tot.  She and i have had some good cries, and I am sure we will have more.  She has great friends that have been so supportive to her through all of this, for which I am so grateful.  She also has a deep testimony of the Savior and the grace that He offers each one of us to endure such trials in life.  She is a great example to me.

Overall, we are doing fine.  We are trying to live life and enjoy this glorious time that we have been given with our baby daughter.  Tatum is such an example of enduring cheerfully to the end.  We love her!


  1. This makes my heart melt. What sweet children you have!

  2. I just have to tell you how impressed I am with you and your family! I met you at Primary Children's when I was privileged to help you learn about Tatum's G-tube. As I mentioned there, Tatum has such a sweet and special presence--she seems just like an angel. Your optimism and humor was enjoyable to be around and I have become more impressed as I have read your blog and felt of your deep faith in Jesus Christ and his gospel. Thank you for sharing your sweet example with me and with so many others around you! I pray for you and your family and hope you will continue to experience the Lord's love in helping you in the challenges at hand and those that lie ahead!
    Sincerely Jenny Bullock

  3. Love this Heather:). You are all in our prayers.