Tatum didn't have the best or the worst day. She had times of calm and times of gurgly. Our doctor did not get a response from the doctor in Salt Lake that is going to hopefully help with her secretions, so we will hopefully know more in the next few days.
It was a busy fun day. We had several visitors including my people that I visit teach who now come to my house! Bet you wish you could somehow swing that right? Every time I walked by Tatum or checked on her it seemed like Hilary had put a new toy on her chest. She is always looking out for her little sister. This morning she helped change her diaper and brush her teeth and put on her lip balm. She likes to do all of those things for her. It is very tender. I don't know what she will think when Tatum is just gone. I hope that Heavenly Father allows her a little understanding so she doesn't think we just got rid of her. I know that all sounds morbid, but I worry about Hilary. I deal with kids and death quite a bit at the hospital so I know she will be fine and I know she will be blessed with the understanding that she needs, I just worry and now you will all worry. Sorry. I love this time that they get to spend together and show what kind of love they have for one another. It is truly one of a kind.
I can't say how Hilary will be, but like you I know kids will take their time processing everything and mostly they do have the understanding they'll need when they need it. When we buried our daughter, our then 2yr old didn't seem too worried. A couple of years later, we were up at the hospital where she had died. And he made a comment about when we were going to go visit her. Like he thought she had just been at the hospital all this time! It was pretty heartbreaking that he thought we would just leave her there for years and not go back for her, and also that we hadn't realized he didn't know that she had died and it was permanent. But I guess that sometimes kids that young don't understand. Plus, if you think about it, she was born and spent almost 2 weeks at the hospital. We brought her home, but were constantly taking her to the doctor. We only had her home for about 5 weeks before the morning we were gone to the hospital with her again and didn't come home for the week she was in the hospital before she died. So a lot of her life he was coming into the hospital to visit his sister. Then he had another little sister born and I'd been in the hospital before her birth, then more NICU time after she was born, and she was in and out of the hospital that first year. His "normal" was that his baby sisters were just always in the hospital if they weren't at home with him! I think in a 2 year old brain he did pretty good with organizing what happened in a way that could make sense to him. Of course, we explained more at that point about it all. I don't think he's completely ruined. ;) He doesn't remember his sister who died anymore, though, so that makes me terribly sad. He was also so very sweet with her. I am glad we have a few pictures of those tender moments.
ReplyDeleteI love seeing Hilary with Tatum, and I love seeing all of your family doting on her! I am glad that Hilary has time to really get to know her sister, and serve her so much! That is so precious. That is certainly going to be sad for her, and for everyone who loves her, to lose, though. It is so good you are taking time make a record of all this. You will cherish it, certainly, later. I am glad that Tatum has had this time now for you to cherish, too. I have added the suctioning and answers to secretion problem to my prayers. That is really no fun for anyone, and I do hope help comes for that soon!
I hope Heavenly Father provides that understanding. You are such a wonderful person Heather. I feel so privileged to know you.
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