Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Beautiful girl...

Tatum Update:  I do not like the roller coaster ride we are on right now with little Tates.  She had a decent night, woke up at 4am.  She went back to sleep after a little while and then she slept pretty solid for the morning.  She was a little gurgly this morning, but for the most part sleepy.
It was such a beautiful day today (over 70 degrees!) that I decided I really wanted to take the girls for a little walk around the neighborhood.  One of my neighbors stopped by and said that she would come with me.  An hour later we were all loaded and ready to go.  About half way around the neighborhood I could hear Tatum just gurgling.  We got home quickly to find her with a big bubbly slobber beard!  Poor little dear.  The rest of the day was a little sketchy.  I was totally planning on taking her to the kids piano recital, but Lance ended up just staying home with her because she just was not settled.  She had a pretty rough time while we were gone so it was a good thing that we didn't bring her.

(I wrote the above excerpt last night, until I was typing at the computer and my head was bobbing and my eyes were rolling.  I could not stay awake, so I am finishing yesterday and doing today's below.  Hope that is not too confusing!)

The kids did fabulous at their recital.  Their piano teacher is darling and she is the daughter of our good friends, so it was fun to get to visit for a little bit afterwards.   The rest of the night went really well.  Tatum got into her sleep pattern at a regular time so I was able to go to sleep at around 11:30. Miracle!

Tatum slept really good until about 4am.  I got up and sat with her until about 5 and then I decided to get her ready for the day.  It is one of my favorite times of the day with her.  It is quiet, and she is rested so she is usually pretty alert and smiley.  I feel like I can talk with her spirit best at this time.  This morning was no different.  She seemed a little more like herself today.  She stayed awake for several hours this morning and after the kids went to school I was in sitting down talking to her and she was so smiley and she was trying to blow raspberries (which she hasn't been able to do for several weeks).  She was really working her tongue and I was blowing them at her so she was smiling.  She just seemed happy and content.  Sometimes I really need that reassurance because I hate the thought that she feels trapped.  I don't want to pray her to stay in her broken body any longer than she needs or wants to, even though I want her to stay forever.  I am trying to overcome my own selfish desires, but it is not easy.  So mornings like this are reassuring to me.  I went to get the video camera and I heard her make a few noises.  She hasn't been able to make noises for several weeks either.  An occasional cry, but not much more than that.  It was a great morning.  I just love the sweetness that exudes from her, and the little bit of fight and spunk is awesome too.  She just makes me happy.
Here are some pictures I took of her this morning.  She just looked so beautiful to me.

One without the oxygen!  She may need a little powder on her face:)

 Hanging with the gabba guy


  1. What a precious relationship we moms get with these precious little ones! I really love to hear you have the special time in the morning with Tatum, and of course she is showing you how important that time is to her, as well! She is just darling! It made me smile reading about those raspberries and little noises. I think Tatum looks especially ducky, too. :) It still makes me sad knowing she has Alper's, and the parts of the day that you're worrying and working hard to do all you can for little Tates. I know it's not at all easy, so I do wish I knew of something to say or do that would really be of help. But just know we are here and praying and thinking of you guys always. We really do love the Walker Family!